My grandma, Beatriz Arellano Valdez was my father’s mother. She was born March 6, 1896 in Costilla, New Mexico, to Luciano Arellano and Margarita Manuelita Mondragon. She was the second oldest of six children. My grandma “B” as we affectionately knew her, died when I was an eighth- grader, on Christmas Eve 1961. I recall that it was a sad and sorrowful Christmas Holiday for our family. To see my dad (my hero), cry through the holidays, was tearful for me as well. I know in my heart that Dad was her "consentido".
My parents moved to Avondale, Colorado from Costilla in 1950, and my father's parents followed us to Avondale, shortly thereafter. Together, my father and his father bought five acres in Avondale, which had two houses. Our young family of four moved into one, and my grandparents moved into the other. Living next door to my grandparents allowed us (my brothers and sisters) to see them every day, and this was good. Most New Mexican families were, and are, connected to their extended families, so, this was not new to my parents.
I had just turned fourteen years old in December of 1961, when Grandma B died. I remember her as a kind, generous, and loving lady. She always shared her homemade desserts and candy with us. Grandma B was a short lady, with rather dark skin and blue green eyes. Her hair was always pulled back and she wore a kind smile. Grandma, a comforting woman, would always stick up for us kids; especially when Grandpa Ignacio, also known as, “Nacho” would make us cry. Most of our family photos show Grandma B with her grandchildren. She had twenty-three at the time of her death. She and Grandpa Nacho had fourteen children, ten of which survived to adulthood. There are many cousins in the Valdez side of my family, we are still close to this day. This picture is of my paternal grandmother, Grandma B and some of her grandchildren. It was taken at our house, in 1959, in Avondale, Colorado.
As I research our family tree, I wish I could have known more about her and her side of the family. Her side, the Arellano’s, is quite intriguing. Arellano family stories tell that Mariano Arellano (Grandma's great-grandfather was one of the "primero poblador" of Costilla, in the late 1840's.
This story is about a most special woman. There are so many adjectives to describe my mother that I am afraid I might forget some. What is a mother? Is she “Love?” Is she “Caring?” Is she “Generous?” Is she “Discipline”? Is she a “Teacher?” Is she “Warm and Cuddling?” Is she a “Treasure of Family History?” Is she “Untiring?” Is she “Watchful?” Is she “Humble?” Is she the “Greatest Cook?” Is she the “Best Nurse?” Is she the “Most Accommodating Person?” Is she the “Best Quilter?” Is she the “Best Listener?” Is she “Hopeful?” Is she a “Griever?” Is she “Resourceful?”
This is my mother, Fabiola Santistevan Valdez, born on June 16, 1926, in Costilla, New Mexico. She is the oldest child of Juan de los Reyes Santistevan and Maria Rebeca de los Dolores Barela. Born and raised during the Depression, by a family of modest means, she is one of the most loving, caring and resourceful persons I know. She learned how to make the most with what she had, whether it was food, clothes, etc. Like most families trying to survive the Depression, she has her own memories. Stories include a worn-out winter coat. Rather than throwing away the coat, she had to turn it inside out and re-stitch it, in order to have a coat for the upcoming winter, since the family could not afford a new one.
This picture was taken in 1944, her senior year at Costilla High School, Costilla, New Mexico.
Being the oldest of six children - and a girl, she helped her parents with her siblings, house, and farm work. Some stories include helping her father with field work, the animals, milking the cows, and retrieving water by pail from the community cistern. In addition, helping her mother with her siblings, and cooking. In the 1930’s, her mother worked as a cook at the Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Costilla, and her father herded sheep in Wyoming, during the late fall and winter seasons. Mom would take charge of the necessary duties to assist her mother with chores.
Fabiola married my father, Fermin P. Valdez on July 23, 1945, in Costilla, New Mexico. Their wedding picture shows a happy and young couple, who were very much in love. Dad wore a black suit with a white boutonniere, and mother, a lacey-white wedding dress. How young they looked! They were to start a family as WWII had ended.
Her father, my grandfather, once told me it was hard for him to attend her wedding. He was sad to see his oldest, his right-hand girl who had helped him with so much farm work during the Depression, get married. Yet, he was happy for her, knowing that she was going to be in the same community. Mom was deeply devoted to her father throughout his lifetime. After grandma passed away in 1975, she asked grandpa to move in with her and dad, which he did for a time.
Mom and dad had seven children, five boys and two girls, of which I am the oldest. They have 13 grandchildren and two great-granddaughters.
This picture is of my dad, Fermin and my mom, Fabiola. It was taken around 1991.
Like her mother, mom is a devout Catholic. She attends mass, never missing on Sundays or holy days, as well as daily. Every day she says her morning prayers in the privacy of her prayer/sewing room. Mom is respected in her community, and is often asked to say the Rosary at Sacred Heart Church in Avondale, Colorado. She continues to assist the ladies with church related activities such as cleaning, setting up for special occasions, and church festivals. Mom is a resource on the lives of saints, and can identify the saints and their prayers.
Like grandma Becky, mom is a wonderful cook. She prides herself in planning the family get-togethers so that they are special occasions for everyone. We most often have Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas dinners at her house. Grandma Becky continues to be around us, as mom uses her recipes. All of mom’s sisters are good cooks, but I have to say that mom bakes the best bread and tortillas out of all of them. The smell of fresh baked bread at mom’s kitchen is a mouth-watering experience, especially when you break open a biscuit and butter it! Wow! Her hot and toasty tortillas (right out of the skillet), with butter also makes one’s mouth want to water.
I often wonder, and ask her, “How did you and dad manage to raise seven kids in the fifties, sixties and seventies?” Dad was an "Ammunition Handler" at the Pueblo Army Depot and mom was a stay-at-home mom until 1974, when she became a cook at Avondale Elementary School, and later, a Teacher’s Aide at various District 70 elementary schools. To do this, they pulled all of their resources together to survive. But I know it was LOVE for each other, and for their children, that motivated them to keep their focus.
For me, my elementary school memories of my mother are special. She was a room-mother, and she sewed costumes for several school plays. During the days of “threatened nuclear war,” she was a “civil patrol mother.” These mothers would assist the classroom teachers with “civil air defense” drills. Mom also, was also a religion teacher for many years. She did this for each one of us, all while raising kids. How?
And when we came down with measles, chicken pox, the flu, or something else, who would stay up with the sick and hold us? None other than our mother! She was right there! What a nurse! She would apply home remedies, learned from her mother and grandmother. When, Rick, the fifth child died unexpectedly in a car accident in July of 1997, mom took it especially hard. She still does. Loosing a child is never easy for a parent. Seeing mom at his funeral with all of her siblings around, comforting one another, was a moving scene. During that same year, her father died in January, and a favorite brother-in-law died in February. And, when her companion, lover and husband died in 2000, she grieved again. At that time, I wondered how much can this kind, caring, and giving woman take? She often says it is our faith that keeps us going, and we must try to make this a better world. That is something she has instilled in each of us.
I am Stephanie (Gonzales) Sotello. I am writing this article for me and my daughter, Yolanda Alvina Sotello, also known as Lil Yoli. My husband, Ben Sotello, and I named our daughter after my mom, Yolanda (Sena) Gonzales and my dad’s mother, Lucy Alvina (Ortiviz) Gonzales.
We want to celebrate and talk about my mom, Yolanda and my aunt Lynda (Sena) Kouba who is Nina (Godmother) Lynda to my daughter, Yoli.
I asked Aunt Lynda to be godmother to my daughter as I thought she would be a great role model for her, and I knew she would always be a part of her life.
This is a picture of Nina Lynda and Lil Yoli at my daughter’s baptism. Lil Yoli was baptized at the Cathedral of the Sacred Heart in Pueblo, Colorado in April 2012. My mom made Lil Yoli’s dress and she used material from my grandma Della Sena’s 50th Wedding Anniversary Dress.
This picture is of three generations of the women on my maternal side. I do know that, based on Aunt Lynda’s Mtdna, our Haplogroup is C1b11. This helps to identify the maternal side of our family. I also know that she has traced our maternal side of the family for twelve generations which includes my daughter and myself.
Pictured left to right is me, Stephanie, my daughter, Yolanda (Lil Yoli), and my mom, Yolanda. The three of us are always together.
Here we are again at a family function, when my daughter, Lil Yoli was a bit younger. Pictured left to right is Mom, my daughter, Yoli and me. Everyone thinks that the three of us really resemble each other.
I love this picture of Mom teaching Yoli how to sew. She is so attached to her grandma, Yolanda. My mom makes a lot of costumes, blankets, and various outfits for my daughter and children.
My aunt Lynda or Nina Lynda is very instrumental in my daughter’s life. She buys her school clothes; she spends time with her by taking her shopping, or going to lunch. Yoli loves to go to her house and play with the cats and with her dogs. In this picture, Yoli is playing with one of her cats, Daisy. She has four cats and two dogs.
Yoli loves, more than anything, when she gets to ride in her nina Lynda’s Volkswagen Convertible/Bug. Nina Lynda told my daughter that when she is 18 years old, that her “Bug” would be her car. Yoli thinks that she is old enough to drive it now. She’s only nine, but is tall for her age and can’t wait to drive. She has a few more years to go.
Look at the smile on their faces. My mom, Yolanda calls them the two "LOLA'S!!" You know, whatever Lola wants, Lola gets!!!
Last year in June of 2020, Yoli joined a softball team for little girls. Her nina Lynda went out and bought softballs and gloves for my children, so we could all play and practice together. My mom also decided to buy some gloves and balls. This is a picture of some of my children and their cousins. Aunt Lynda said that we were the “Sotello Team.” I think Aunt/Nina Lynda had more fun than the kids! She said that she hadn’t played ball in years and just wanted to hit the ball one more time. She did it, and was able to run the bases!
When Yoli’s nina Lynda and her uncle Rory Kouba were married, she was their flower girl. In this picture are the following people: My dad, Dennis Gonzales, Rory Kouba, Lynda Sena Kouba, my mom, Yolanda, and of course, my daughter Yoli. We are a close-knit family, and all of them spend a lot of time together.
I just want to say “Happy Mother’s Day to my beautiful mom, Yolanda and to Aunt/Nina Lynda. We love you very much!!!!!